Hi. I am a child living in an orphanage in Russia. I might be a boy, I might be a girl. My age doesn't really matter, I might be young, I might be older.

I'm not really sure how I ended up living here, but I am pretty sure my mama and papa for some reason couldn't take care of me. I kind of remember them but I am not sure.

Things are ok here. We have food, usually, although we have to eat pretty fast and there never seems to be enough. I have friends here, some I get along with some I don't. I know who those people called the director and doctor are, I see them once in awhile and the doctor gives me candy. There are a few people that take care of me I really like one of them, she plays with me. This is the only life I know, I hear not all kids live like this but I wouldn't know.

Well this is interesting, I am just getting up from my nap and the caregiver I like says my new mama and papa are here to see me. My new mama and papa what does that mean? She takes me to the director's office where there are these two people who are dressed funny. They are smiling at me and the lady has a tear in her eye. I don't know these people, I am afraid. I just got up from my nap, I am sleepy still. They want me to stay with these people, I don't want to. I want to go back to my room with my caregiver whom I know.

Ok, I am with these two people. I have no idea what they are saying, their words all sound funny. I don't understand what they want me to do. I usually don't see men, I am afraid of the man. These people are strangers, I don't like strangers. They brought some stuff with them, I like the bubbles and the one toy but I am still not sure about these people. Oh, finally I get to go back to my room with my friends and caregiver, glad that's over.

These people are here to see me again today? What's going on? It's the same two people, they are still dressed funny but I remember them from yesterday. They have some interesting toys but I am still cautious, just what do these people want. Shall I give them a smile or should I just be quiet? I think I will just be quiet. They still talk funny and I don't understand them, wait what was that? It's a word I know, that word means ball, I know what a ball is they said ball in Russian, that was interesting. They want to hold me and kiss me, I am not used to that, I don't know if I like it. Time to go back to my room, that was kinda fun today, maybe they will see me again tomorrow.

Well these people have seen me a few more times, they are ok I guess. Today the lady is crying and saying goodbye. Goodbye? They just got here. What is going on, they will be back in a month? How long is that? Are they going to leave me like my mama and papa did? I was just getting used to these people. I am sad, very sad.

It's back to my life as normal. Those people left me a stuffed animal. I take it with me everywhere and sleep with it. We don't have our own things here but this is mine. I think about these people, are they coming back? They said a lot of things to me but I didn't understand much, I am only a child.

It feels like a long time since I saw those people my caretaker called mama and papa, but they are back again today. Are they going to leave for a long time again? What? They are taking me away from here? Away from everything and everyone I know? Away from the caretaker I like? Why? Will I get to come back? I don't know what is going on I am scared, very scared, I hardly know these people. I am going to cry.

I am in a strange room with them, they call it a hotel. I didn't like the bath, it's not how my caretaker washed me. I don't want to sleep here, where is my bed? Where are my friends? I am still scared.

This isn't getting any better, I am now on an airplane, I have never been on an airplane before. It feels like I have been on the plane a very long time. I'm restless, I'm cranky, my stomach is sick because I am not used to eating the food these people have given me. I want to go home.

I am now in this big house. There are other people there all looking at me and wanting to hold me. I am so tired I want to sleep. It's light outside but I want to sleep. There is a dog here, I have never been close to a dog before, I am scared. They say I am finally home but this is not my home, I have been taken away from everything I know. Everything is so strange, I can't understand what anyone says. I know this person called mama and I want to be close to her and have her protect me from all this that is so strange to me.

It's going to take me a long time to adjust to this place, a long time for me to trust this mama and papa. A long time to get used to where I am, who all these people are and figure out what they are saying and how I can talk to them. Things are so strange and different here, I miss where I was and the routine, I am tired, I am scared. I have trouble going to sleep in this place that I do not know. I am scared, my body feels tired. The food tastes funny here. I may do things that are not right but I don't know any better and I am only a child, please forgive me. Please don't be too quick to judge that I have problems, remember you have ripped me away from the life I know and thrown me into a whole new world that is so strange to me, I am scared. I am only a child. Please if you see any problems with me you can't handle yourself find a professional who can. I need time, a lot of time to adjust. I need love, a lot of love to adjust. I, I need my mama and papa, I am scared, I am only a child.


From the Eyes of a Child